Ever worked in the United States a well-known and very effective hypnotist named Milton Erickson. Erickson could hypnotize anyone, even the most reluctant patients or clients.
What did he do?
He cleverly pretended to “think, fight and breathe” in the same way as his client. And sooner or later, patients beginning to believe that this is so. Then Erickson suggesting his client defined thoughts and the client willingly accepted them – so readily, as if it were his own thoughts. If we examine this process in detail, the early communication Erickson literally became reflection of his client and thus causing credibility (no one can argue with his own reflection).
But what the customer has to do if his reflection quietly and gradually start doing something himself? The customer has only one way out: he is now obliged to reflect his impact and moves and thinks as the reflection.
How is this done? Strike a pose, which has taken the woman in front of you and soft and not obviously copy her movements. This is done for less than one second. Then you start to synchronize your breathing with the breathing of the person against you.
Beginners often allow these two basic errors.
Too thoroughly reflect “the other”.
“Other” is not breathing.
If you are reflecting all the gestures of “the other”, the person in front of you will notice this and may decide that you are crazy, or that you are mocking athim/her. Therefore reflect mainly micro facial expressions and body gestures.
For example, “client” sips from a cup. If you have already done so in sync with him/her, on his/her second sip you can use another gesture – just gently rubyour chin for a second or two. The main gesture
– The movement of the hand to the head is copied. It does not matter that you are not holding a cup. On his/her third sip you also can drink the cup as he/she and his/her fourth sip you can miss the copy to calm the”client” that you are not a clown.
The second major error complained that “the other is not breathing.” Once the person in front of you is alive, then he/she breathes. In men’s abdominal breathing – look at his belly. Or the collar of his shirt. It should twitch in time with his breathing. In women breathing is “chest” – look at the upper part of a woman’s breasts. You should notice even lifting and lowering. It must also be copied.
If you do everything calculated and carefully, then your partner will realize one thing: for some incomprehensible reason he/she finds being with you is so nice and comfortable, as if you knew each other from 100 years and he/she is in love with you.
Moreover, often the woman will notice that she wants to do something for you, even though you did not verbalize this desire.