Find Love – Which the most common reasons are why love keeps slipping away and what we need to work on
1. How to find love – I don’t know what I want /the heart says “do”, the mind says “don’t”/. Sometimes you just need someone that makes you feel good, but your brain says that you need someone strong, a real man, who you actually do not want. It is the wrong mindset of what you are looking for that keeps you from having next to you the person you really want.
2. I don’t deserve that partner – you meet him and all your insecurities from your childhood show their heads. You think he or she is too good for you and that is how you lose him or her – because of your fear and not because you really don’t deserve him. Sometimes, false idealization plays its part as well. Calm down a little bit. It is highly possible for them to be idealizing you as well.
3. I have unrealistic expectations /I want a millionaire, monogamous, young, I want them to adore me, to accept me the way I am, etc./ I don’t know why, but when women describe the men of their dreams, the list usually goes like this. Why doesn’t anyone say they want to find love in the face of a cab driver? They are people as well and often have unique human qualities. Do you yourself have everything that you want to get from the other? If you are doing it, then why are they supposed to do it?
4. I cannot give what men/women expect from me – sometimes, especially after difficult relationships, we tend to want to receive without giving. Or we give things our partner does not need. Check what he/she really wants and only give the things they need.
5. I am not realized as a man or a woman and that is why I tend to attract wrong partners – I do not have the behavior that corresponds to my age. For example, I have one-night stands and am incapable of forming a deeper relationship. If you play the role of anything else but not the role of a true man or a woman, do not be surprised that only wrong partners are showing up for you! It seems that to find love is not as easy as it seems.
6. Offending parents or their rejection. It is often said – if we do not have a loving and respectful treatment toward our parents – we ourselves will be incapable of having any happy relationships.
7. I don’t have a model of having serious and deep relationships and, therefore, don’t know how to find love.
8. Fear of getting hurt and not wanting to take a risk – yes, sometimes love can be quite painful. You need to accept it and to move on despite all wounds and say to yourself: yes, I’ve been hurt, but despite I choose to love again.
9. Not having turned into adults and continuing to live or be emotionally connected to our parents. We need to detach ourselves and live alone; otherwise, we stay in the role of a child forever.
10. I’m not ready to pay the price for that. Before wanting a relationship, think about what you need to pay in exchange.