5. You look terrible
Always mind your words when commentating your son’s or daughter’s appearance. This does mean you should applaud them when you see they look inappropriate. Just find the right way, without rude phrases which will hurt them. Let the child feel you are on their side, that they can trust your judgment and that your goal is to help them. In this situation it is best if you suggest an alternative. For example: This skirt does not look so good on you, but I think the blouse is adorable and would look pretty good with your black jeans.
6. I will spank you
This phrase has been widely used wherever on the planet you may be. We, ourselves, have grown up with it and it is not a time or two that we use it while bringing up our own children. However, think about the message you are leaving – about physical beating as an educational method or said in other words, “If what I want does not happen, I will beat you up”. Even if just a phrase and without actually realize the thread, surely there are better ways to express what would the consequences be, if the child neglects their responsibilities or does not act properly.
7. Look at…
“Look at your brother ”or “Look at the neighbors’ kid – he’s got better grades than you do”- phrases that most people think should be motivating to the child and push them to study harder, to behave better or to put in more effort. The truth is that do not actually work this way for kids. If for us adults it is possible for motivation to rise when we see a more successful person, it is not the same for children. They are in the beginning of building up their self-esteem and self-valuation. They have no idea what they are capable of doing and still get to know how others see them. So they will just accept that there are children better than them and they are not good enough. Instead of comparing your child with others, concentrate on their personal abilities, encourage them without overdoing it, and make them feel that you are on their side.
8. You’re so stupid
If this phrase sounds too radical to you, think about its many variations that frequently lace the communication between parents and their kids – like, “What you did was so stupid”, “Don’t act like a fool”, “You have stupid friends”, etc. Remember – kids soak every word we say, even if it looks like they are not listening or hearing us at all. And they believe the things we tell them. Therefore, be careful with qualifications and labels like these.